God rescues// Happy Birthday Joshua Grady Shave

God rescues//and he brought me Joshua. Happy Birthday, my love.

1998 SMCC when Josh and I met

Today is my sweet sweet love’s birthday. He is 29, strong, healthy, blessed, and wonderful. I wanted to spend today bragging on him and thanking God for blessing me with such a wonderful, loving, selfless, consistent husband.    Seriously.   I do not just spout off these adjectives like I am writing a greeting card. He REALLY is ALL  these things. Over the years I have become more aware of just how considerate he is. So many people, including myself, tend to take advantage of his kindness. At first I thought it just came naturally to him and he didn’t even have to think about it. But realistically, he does. He is the kind of person who makes a daily effort to build others up, to NOT always say what he is thinking, to go out of his way to help you with what you want, to think the best of people, to forgive, to put his plans aside when he knows you want him or need him for something. And all these things are not just for me.  They are for everyone: our families, his co-workers, his friends, my friends…

It is almost bad for other people because I see him sacrificing all the time and it just accentuates how selfish the rest of us are.

I love him for so many reasons, but the first one would have to be that he loves God so much and wants to live his life (our life) to please HIM. This is the most admirable trait in a man. It brings a constant comfort because I know where his priorities lie and I can trust him to LEAD us in the right direction.

I love him because he likes what I like…and even when he doesn’t he sacrifices and compromises.  I love that we can sing and dance and scream out the window in the car together. I love that when he is in front of me at a stop light, he opens his back window and says, I love you.

I love that we can laugh together.

Our 1st Dave Matthews Concert together

I love Josh for all these things and more. He is so strong. So athletic. So funny. So freaking talented at everything he tries; it might be a little sickening, but adorable at the same time.

I did find something I am better at than him……… and that is ice skating. :)

Pathetic for me I know, but seriously. He is good at EVERYTHING. And humble about it too. How lucky am I?

I love him because he makes me coffee in the mornings.

I love him because when I am tired and do not want to wake up and go to work, he walks around the bed, throws my arms around his neck, and walks me into the bathroom.

I love him because he always opens my door.

I love him because I know he prays for me every day.

I love him because when he travels I do not worry about his integrity. (but I pray about it nontheless to keep him strong and holy)

I love him because he thinks it’s cute when I look up new words.

Lol….. like the house we are buying is on Avocet. I didn’t know what that was and I didn’t want to live on a road that meant like “hoochie momma” so I looked it up :)
and this made him smile.

It means a long legged shorebird, by the way. How fitting.

I love that he can make so many people laugh and that he is not afraid to be silly.

I love him because he is passionate about so many things… our love, surfing, basketball, family, snowboarding, his work, his prayer life, God, wakeboarding…

I love him because he is not boring.

I love him because keeps me sane and eases my fears. He reminds me where my focus should be. He holds me accountable and teaches me love.

I love him because I want to. Should all these awesome things fade away. I will love him.

God rescues.

When I looked up his name last night that is what I found.  And its so true; God did rescue me. In the same way he rescued Josh and all of us who allow him to be our Savior. What  wonderful life we live, abiding in him and seeking his face.

Thank you for all of it, God.

And thank you for being a wonderful husband, Josh. I love you. Happy Birthday.

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100% true.

“Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? “

-C.S. Lewis; The Problem of Pain
Upon reading this, I instantly think of my future husband.
…followed immediately by my best and closest friends.
I love them.

Confession

I’m scared to wander outside major keys
So I sing a song
that I wrote just to please
The fools and the fakes
afraid just like me to be…honest

So I play pretend with my smile painted on
At best I’m a clown and at worst I’m a con
Convincing the crowd and myself nothing’s wrong to be…honest

My soul is trembling
Knowing they’re listening
But all that I need to be
Is all that You’re making me

I’m leaving the stage
You can turn my lights down
The curtains are closed
And I’m taking my bow
Lord help me remember
Cause I forget how to be honest
Honest

And I rewrote my story without tragedy
Left out the lines that reveal I am weak
Erased every reason for You to save me
To be…honest

My soul is trembling
Knowing they’re listening
But all that I need to be
Is all that You’re making me

Shaun Groves

This is how I feel sometimes. I am terrified to mess up… or look a wreck. I am scared to admit my mistakes or be seen as imperfect… I like this song so much because he says, hey, if you don’t admit to your mistakes… if I could just hide them or pretend they aren’t there… then what would the point of God’s grace and forgiveness be?
Why would we have NEEDED God to die on the cross?
That takes a big load off my shoulders.
At Winterjam one of the speakers said, “we all hate confessions and it’s the last thing we want to do because we don’t want to admit how screwed up we are.”
I feel like that is me. I am always terrified to admit my mistakes, no matter how small. Maybe it is my pride, or maybe it is that i am still growing and understanding just how big God’s grace is. I hope it rains down on the people of earth so they can have mercy on my soul too. Because it is official:

I am not perfect
to be…honest.

Bad company corrupts good character.

“You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn’t reserve a plot for weeds.”
Dag Hammarskjsld

wHo aRe YoU?

I am about to go for a run and was reminded of a phrase my dad often says. I spent the weekend with him and the family, so all of his words of wisdom are fresh on my mind. I can remember growing up, they would drive me crazy; now I can’t get enough of them! ( am sure they drive some of my friends crazy though).

“It is not what you do that determines who you are,
It is who you are that determines what you do.”

This put us in responsibility.

If it was the other way around we could always place blame, oh that is just how I am

No, you determine how you act and who you are.

Before you do something ask yourself, does this reflect who I am? Who I want to be? Does this reflect who God has asked me to be? Who he says I am?

We were given the power to choose.

We have to choose what is the most important to us.

God tells us who we are.

Sometimes, it just takes believing it.

The truth will set you free.

This quote comes from dad, but he didn’t make it up. He pulled it from the Neil Anderson’s book Victory Over the Darkness, which deals with way more than i can tall you on here…the battle between flesh and spirit, heart and mind, truth and lies…satan’s accusation vs God’s truth and freedom…so much more…

I recommend it.

pour wisdom here

 

I got to meet with my field supervisor again today and he is one of those people I just love to be around. He is so insightful and knowledgeable. He is very wise and I am always taking notes on the things he says. I need to just start recording our conversations or something. Of course, we are supposed to be talking about my teaching skills, which we do, but I think we spend more time talking about life, improving lives, loving people, making a difference and just… living to the fullest…

He shares my sentiment for not being mediocre… that’s really the only way I can think to put it. You can just really tell he has worked really hard and hates to see lives wasted. I often wonder how people get that smart. I can be with someone for days and our conversations won’t go deeper than what we’re having for dinner and he is digging into my soul in like 5 minutes. I love it. I think when I graduate I am still going to meet him for coffee. Is that weird? I mean, he is just a good mentor. He knows a lot. Granted he has a PHD and had probably been to hundreds of seminars, reads all the time, and never wastes a minute on mindless television, but still, you can just tell he spends his time thinking about how to make a bigger difference. There is no doubt in my mind that this man will die knowing he has accomplished just that.

I hope I have that. I hope I can say that. How does one get so wise and impacting? Where does he learn all this stuff? Life I guess…I mean, he is old, and with age comes wisdom right?
but… who knows…I just love old people… old wise people!  I just look up to them so much! I am like please give me some of the wisdom! I could listen to them for hours (and still mess up). Man, I have a long way to go.

Okay, I didn’t mean to ramble on, but there are only about 4 people in my life I have told I want to take notes on the things they say, my dad, this man (Dr. Malone), Brad Young and another old friend who is MY age. Crazy.

I can’t even tell you all the good advice he gave me because there is so much I would bore you but I will tell you the ones I remember off hand:

“I am not wanting excuses, I am wanting to hear how you are going to change it”

We’re human, we make mistakes. It is important in life to find
people that help us to eliminate our mistakes; that way, we can move
forward together and improve our lives simultaneously.

Blessed are those who are flexible,
for they will not be bent out of shape.”


Associate yourself with men of good quality,
if you esteem
your own reputation;
for it is better to be alone than in bad company.
George Washington

and lastly, I think he won me over when he quoted one of my favorite lines from Shakespeare,

Love is not love
which alters

I’ll even give you the whole quote for that one. The rest were about education and children so I won’t type out those, but this one, gosh, it just does something to me. Gives me hope I guess.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds                 Admit impediments. Love is not love  Which alters when it alteration finds,                 Or bends with the remover to remove:  O no! it is an ever-fixed mark                 That looks on tempests and is never shaken;  It is the star to every wandering bark,                 Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.  Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks                 Within his bending sickle's compass come:  Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,                 But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  If this be error and upon me proved,                 I never writ, nor no man ever loved.                                       William Shakespeare

Those weren’t even the profound ones, my notes are at school! If you have any quotes or thoughts you want to leave, or even good advice sayings you have heard recently, please do. I love knowledge!

On top of all that, I got a great review, worked out AND went to PF Changs tonight. It has been a good day. I love friends… friends, good company and great conversations. The end.

Impatience is easy. Waiting is hard…

I spend a lot of my time waiting.  I don’t know if this is a good thing but I can say in the last few years I have indeed become a more patient person because of it. I know I have many MANY improvements to make in that area but I do know it has already gotten better.  I am not sure where I am going with this but waiting is indeed hard.  Indulging is easy.

Life is hard.
How often to we say and hear that phrase?

Life is hard. I know it is. But what makes it so hard? And if it wasn’t hard would we like it?

The first part of my day today I spent bumming around apathetically breathing until it was time for work. That sounds pathetic but I couldn’t get the motivation to read, write, workout or really do much of anything… they all seemed hard. Too much effort…

I even heard myself say this morning “life is boring”.   What an awful statement! How could I say such a thing? I say: if life is boring, it is no ones fault but your own.

I changed that already and I hope I remember the next time I think that to get my lazy behind off the couch and go do something. I got to spend time with Jaime tonight and just being in her company made me feel better. It is healthy and inspiring to be in good fruitful company. I also got to go for a walk and tomorrow I am working out early and driving to Atlanta for a big concert.

So, I guess all this is to say it is a blessing life is tough and if it is easy, you are probably lazy, settling, or simply refusing to work hard for what you want.  If you are bored, you need to get motivated. We need to quit taking life easy or we are going to be real disappointed.  Life is tough for a reason and it is so we work and have fun and a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.   I found a few ways to look at it and over the course of the next couple of days I am going to share.

Compliments of Beverly Heirich

Bad is easy. Good is hard.

Falling is easy. Getting up is hard.

Talking is easy. Listening is hard.

Losing is easy. Winning is hard

Watching TV is easy. Reading is hard.

Giving advice is easy. Taking advice is hard.

Flab is easy. Muscle is hard.

Dirty is easy. Clean is hard.

Take is easy. Give is hard.

Dream is easy. Think is hard.

Lying is easy. Truth is hard.

Sleeping is easy. Waking is hard.

I’ll add my own by saying,
Sin is easy. Trust and obedience is hard.

Talking about God is easy. Praying to God is hard.
And listening to God is even harder.
I pray you all take the hard road.
Because after all, “Nothing in life that is good and worthwhile comes without effort”

Love you.

The new “Christian”

I have decided men (and sometimes women) are using Christianity as a pick up line.

Yes, you heard me right.

Let me say I do have many Christian friends who I know love the Lord so I am not saying this by any means is all men, but from many personal experiences and those of my friends, we have indeed decided “Christianity” is now what some men use to get you to go out with them…

I guess they think that is the easiest way to have you convinced he is a good person. I mean what girl wouldn’t run home and be like, “eeeee! I got a date!! and guess what?!?! He’s a Christian!!!”

(awww *sigh from all the girl friends* what a catch! They think.)

That is until about two or three dates go by and you see what kind of person he really is.

So please, if you are not a God fearing, Jesus worshiping, Abba glorifying man, please do not claim to be one. Just be straight up. Don’t use godliness as a chance to get with a good girl. And girls quit claiming to be followers and “really good Christians” when you are not. Because then men date you and think that’s what a “Christian” looks like.. and they get confused. Especially if you are loose because then they think that’s just what all women (even the Christian ones now) are like. And THIS IS NOT TRUE.

PEOPLE CAN WE JUST QUIT LYING TO OURSELVES?!!? REALLY.

If you are going to be a Christian, be a Christian.

Think, pray, follow, live, act and glorify God with your life.

If you are not, don’t claim to be.

I know we all struggle, stumble, fall and make poor choices; trust me i know. But there is a point when your stumbling becomes a lifestyle and you are no longer striving to me better but accepting your ‘worse’…. This is when i say we all need to reevaluate ourselves before the Lord and see where we stand.

Revelation 3:15
I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth!